Hey rose buds! We’re back for Week 4 of Joan Vassos’s Golden Bachelorette season, and things are getting rough. Between one contestant’s tragic news and a brutal rose ceremony, my tissue box is running very low, so let’s dive in before I run out.
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What went down this week 📺
Joan’s men broke out their best body rolls for a charity striptease group date with the Chippendales and Kaitlyn Bristowe. But then Chock got some devastating news.
Who went home (temporarily): The morning after the group date, Chock learned that his mother had passed away from cancer. After a tearful talk with Joan, he went home to support his family before returning later in the week. [Entertainment Weekly]
Who got one-on-ones: Jordan wanted anything but ice skating for his date, so of course he got ice skating (and was a total trouper). Guy, meanwhile, finally learned how to zest a lemon during a cooking date. Look at everyone learning and growing! [People]
Who went home (for good): Gary, Charles L., Gil and Dan. I knew this one would be rough, but I was NOT prepared to lose actual angels Dan, Gary and Charles all at once. [USA Today]
Senior superlatives 🏆
1️⃣ Best Dance Moves: Jonathan
You could tell the producers didn’t believe Jon when he said he’s never stripped before the date, and honestly, I’m not sure I buy it either. Put that gold Speedo in the Museum of Bachelor History! Watch the moment and go behind the scenes of filming it. [Entertainment Weekly]
2️⃣ Humanitarian of the Year: Mark
Did anyone else catch that shot of Mark patiently teaching Pascal how to do his own laundry — an ongoing storyline this season — after [checks notes] 69 years of being alive? Give this man a medal. [Yahoo Entertainment]
3️⃣ Mr. Congeniality: Charles L.
Charles basically led a group fitness class for his fellow guys at the mansion this week — which, yes, earns him this title for a third week in a row. Could an exercise video empire be next? Sponcon deals? The sky’s the limit for this fan favorite! [NBC News]
4️⃣ Most Relatable: Keith
Not since Hannah B.’s Bachelor toast fail has anyone gotten as flustered as girl dad Keith during the mixer. I mean, it was bad-bad. “Hopefully over time, that if we get more time, which would be hopeful …” Woof. [YouTube/Today]
5️⃣ Golden Heartthrob: Jordan
Jordan is a terrible ice skater, but it was so sweet watching Joan tow him around the rink. Who says men need to lead? Also, those kisses during the REO Speedwagon show? 👀 [Deadline]
Can I steal you for a second? 💬
A one-on-one with Brett Vergara
This week I talked to once-prolific Bachelor tweeter Brett Vergara. He gave us the scoop on his favorite franchise quirks and more.
Laura: What Bachelor Nation trope do you look forward to seeing every season?
Brett: I love when they first leave the mansion but they’re not going international yet, so they all need to bust out their best acting chops to pretend they’ve actually always wanted to go to Akron, Ohio.
Laura What Bachelor franchise moment still lives in your head rent-free?
Brett: It’s 100% when Hannah B. moved the podium away from Luke P. — Bachelor Hall of Fame. I think about that at least once a month.
Laura: Who would you love to see get the next one-on-one date with Joan?
Brett: I mean, I’m pretty sure Mark had this in the bag walking out of the limo unless he ends up with Joan. He’s got that insider connection, has already been thirsted over, he’s stupid good looking, and, as of now, he seems like a stand-up, lovable guy. (I’m waiting to eat my words.)
Go deeper: Here’s the advice Mark received from his daughter, former Bachelor contestant Kelsey Anderson, before the season.
Golden masculinity moment 👴
Once again, the camaraderie between these men this week was something to behold. From all the guys rallying to support Chock, to the way they ran out after their eliminated friends to say goodbye, the care is undeniable. Who says men don’t know how to make friends anymore?
On his way out, Dan tearfully explained why this setting and journey have meant so much to him: “I live alone,” he said, “and to live with a group of brothers was pretty cool. I’ll miss that.” Bring this energy to regular Bachelorette! [Entertainment Weekly/CNN]
😢 This week's cry counter: Between Joan and her contestants, I counted five crying sessions, which honestly felt a little light. That said, some of those cries were so heartfelt they had me crying!
The Golden Bachelorette airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.
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